Keene Slips and Dies

By Russell Nayle

The report of a murder in Lewisburg came over my police scanner just before noon on November 3, 2009.  Nothing ever happens in Lewisburg.  There was a guy – a county prosecutor or something like that, who simply drove off in his Mini a few years ago, and never returned — but that didn’t seem like foul play.  He might have disappeared into the Susquehanna, but that’s pure conjecture.  Most of the weird things that happen in Lewisburg involve a few college kids, and the Bechtel’s cow.

A real murder in town was big news.  I had to see the crime scene for myself.  Fortunately, I was able to park in the flea market lot, and walk the two blocks down Second Street to the house surrounded by yellow tape.

Two neighbors were standing across the street, discussing the murder.  Second Street has small houses on postage stamp sized lots.

I interviewed two of the neighbors.  They were mystified.  A crime like this simply should not happen in their neighborhood.

“He lived right next door to me!  I’m scared for my life, but I’m only a school nurse at Bucknell.  I can deal with it when the kids have food poisoning, or get bronchitis.  Nobody’s going to fire me for that.”

Aside from the yellow tape, the crime scene amounted to a chalk outline in the driveway.

The police finally reported that Mr. Keene had slipped on his ice-covered driveway, and hit his head.

“If he hadn’t been so eager to collect his mail, he might have lived through it.”

If I get Tomoviewed for this, it’ll be fun. Hoo boy, is it lame. Murder =/= slip and fall.

Here’s the link to the really good stuff.

Coho

Back in June, wild Alaskan sockeye was the thing.  I got a whole side of that for $21.  It lasted for four days.  We bears like our salmon.  It makes our coats glisten, or whatever.  Mostly, it just tastes yummy.

Yesterday’s deal was wild-caught Alaskan coho for $14 a lb.  I bought a whole side of it.  I’ll give this one an Asian flair, with sliced fresh ginger, a pinch of five spice powder, and a little soy sauce.

My only problem is that dinner is still eight hours away.

Nicky’s Loose

Aside from Nicky’s plug for toilet paper with a new cover, I found this on his MySpace:

I am long overdue for a book signing and trying to get three locked in sometime late 2009-2010.   I am signing at the darkroom with Voltaire playing live on stage and another band . . .

So, he managed to wangle his way into another dive bar, and set up a table.  He posted that on the 27th, but I didn’t see it until today.

It’s time to assemble my convection fireplace grate (pipe fittings from Home Depot), don my costume, and light a fire.

Happy Halloween

This is my favorite holiday of the year.  The fact that it’s Saturday means that I don’t have to dash through a major commuter train station in NYC or Philly, but can dress like a freak, and hand out bags of pretzels with impunity.

Pretzels?  Yes, pretzels.  I’ve no idea how many kids will stop by, so I had to get something that I’d eventually eat.

Candy won’t do it for me, unless I make it myself, and what mommy in her right mind would let her kid bring home peanut brittle or English toffee that I made?  OK, one or two mommies who are personal friends, but otherwise . . .

I’m not so good at decorating cupcakes, but the ones that went to the office were scarfed down, regardless.  People like cream cheese icing.

All hail the pretzels.

Break Out The Popcorn

Hat tip:  PG

This thread at SL starts out innocently enough, with what I think is sort of a dumb question.  Some people have sensible advice/answers.  But the thread devolves pretty quickly into a slugfest between Kenwood and a few others.

Although none of the triumvirate of Nitwits is involved, it’s still worth a read if you’re bored, and have time to go through five pages.